I realize as time passes that ultimate certification will likely never yield its secrets to me. For 38 years I’ve been trying to break down existence into essence. Long before I knew of Aristotle, I was grappling with these foundational questions. I pursue them not because of curiosity but to avoid anguish. The “not knowing” is excruciating. I don’t know how to take something, namely myself, where I need to be until I can determine where I am.
In the meantime, I find a growing comfort from certain simple activities. These activities, themselves, defy classification. Perhaps they transcend it. For this reason they are worth noting here:
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Family: Family represents something so right that I am drawn deeply into its beauty. I love the sounds of children running through my house and I love to feel my wife’s warmth against my body as I rest. Beyond all philosophical disputation, I know this will matter the most in the end.
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Prayer: Prayer transcends my understanding. It may not be the most important activity but somehow I cannot resist engaging in it. It seems essential even if it is not.
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Observations: Observations defy any particular form. Most of the time observations are dictated. They will not win any literary prizes. Still, they are basic and I find refuge in them. They do not need any form of classification and in this they rescue me from the pain.
These are not the ultimate three. These are not the only three. I do not know how to fit all of this precisely into a scheme of motive and method. Nevertheless, I will not stop engaging with all three.
