I am learning as time passes that rest comes only when I am in the present tense. So many conflicts of perception and reality make planning painful. Later, I will write more of this conflict.
In the meantime, my rest comes from living in the moment. It comes from asking, “What am I to do now?” (not withstanding Augustine’s reflections on “now”). When attempting to live in the present tense, I find it helpful to focus on the motive behind each action. This may sound tedious, but in truth, it brings clarity. It reminds me of the efforts made by the desert fathers in the Philokalia. It is not something that I am learning only from reading; it is something I am learning from experience. It may be the only way to survive for the next sixty years.