At times one grasps more fully the reality of one’s own existence. It is almost ironic that for this to occur, one must disengage from the present tense of pure existence. More often than not, this disengagement occurs because of some external interruption, a disturbing conversation, the death of a loved one, or a near fatal accident.
I want to be able to disengage at will, and not because of some unpredictable change in circumstance. I only want to disengage, so that I can engage more fully. For when I have pulled back, I can see. When I can see, I realize anew my transience. I’m trying to imbue the transient with the eternal. This can only happen by prioritizing the spiritual.
Sitting on a plane, today, I can see the churn of those other road warriors moving to and fro. Some of them are in the prime of their strength, while others are on the waning side. I realize that, like them, I’m just a candle flickering in the wind – and my wick is growing shorter. I cannot bear to be so finite.