I do not understand how joy and agony can co-exist within the same person, even within the same instant. Life is an inversion of paradoxes. One can be full of joy and, yet, full of agony. The human container is too frail. A soul cannot contain the whole truth. This is what separates me from the ultimate. I cannot bear what I know. I cannot bear the knowledge of what I do not know, either. However, amidst the overwhelming desperation, is a sense that the edge of beauty is only experienced at the edge of frailty. When all I experience is too much, I come to value the marvelous potential of life. Joy and agony can co-exist. Beauty is evidenced when they touch.